What is a burger anyway?


Taste is subjective. While we would never presume to tell someone what they must eat or what they must like (ratings on Burger Derby are, of course, subjective), we do have a fairly narrow opinion of what a burger, at its most fundamental level, is.

Bun. Beef (or other red meat from an animal of the infraorder Pecora) patty. Full stop.

Well, not full stop. Of course toppings are half the fun. But the burger has a substance. A soul. An essence that makes it what it is, and not something else.

A patty on a bed of lettuce is a patty on a bed of lettuce. A reconstituted chicken slurry on a whole wheat English muffin is a reconstituted chicken slurry on a whole wheat English muffin. A soy + quinoa… well you get the idea.

A protein between carbs, does not, a burger make. Surely peanuts between potato latkes isnt a burger. Definitions clarify, and clarification (for better or worse) is necessarily exclusive. Therefore, Burger Derby chooses to hold the definition of the burger as sacred. Its a Platonic Form of sorts.

If this is not something with which you can agree, feel free to Google post-modern hippie cuisine and have at it.

Happy Derbing!